Warmer And Rainy Today

It's rainy and warm in Southern Ontario.

Had my hair done today. Here's a photo of Najee, my hairdresser. He's a great guy. We talk about everything - including religion and politics - when I'm there.



Put on my long olive colored raincoat - the one I wore when a woman in Paris stopped me and asked me where I got it - it looks bohemian I think. Took the umbrella I love - it's covered with the scenes from a famous picture in which people on a rainy Paris street walk under umbrellas, but I really didn't need it. The downpour didn't start until I was in the shop!

A light rain was falling when I came out after my appointment. Bought 12 grain bread at the Wortley bakery, kitty chow from Dr. Doo's and decided to stop at the new coffee shop, Synergy. Once inside, the rain began again in earnest.

Nursed a cappucino while reading most of Arthur Millers The Crucible as it poured outside. I was quite absorbed for well over an hour - with no desire to leave - and, without trying, tuned out the conversations that came and went. I was nearly finished when a trio of women - and I am sure none of them have ever tried to run a business - came in and immediately started criticizing the Little Red Roaster. They really were unbelievable. I found I could not listen to them - they were so negative, ignorant and petty. They made me want to write a wicked parody about them.

But no matter - by that time the rain had stopped. I didn't need to put up my umbrella once on the way home.

Miller wrote that play during the ungodly witch hunt in the U.S. that ruined so many people in the 50's. He was very smart to allow his audience to see the similarities between the abominable Salem witchcraft trials and the search for "communists" in his day without ever mentioning it. People, I'm sure, could see the parallels quite clearly without having them pointed out.

Back home, while cooking dinner, I looked through my kitchen window and saw that the heavens had opened. Ah, how fortunate I was. Believe me, I thanked God that I had not found myself trying to manage walking with a ten pound bag of cat food, a bulky loaf of homemade bread and an umbrella in driving rain.

Fixed a macaroni and cheese dish. Such a cozy smell; so nice to have the oven on. The fresh bread was heavenly with butter. Angus and I played cribbage after dinner, over cups of steaming tea.

I meant to draw - to practice. I was so good last week about drawing every day - but I felt too tired to concentrate. (I'm taking a drawing class so I will be better able to help Jo-ann in creating our peace project.)

I wound up doing a crossword puzzle (I told myself it was good for my brain, although it really was a waste of time) then lay down in bed under a blanket and just rested. Now I've gone through e-mail, read all the news, uploaded an image for CafePress and realized what I was doing wrong in trying to get a transparent background to look right against a black shirt sample.

Here are two of the designs I've been working on:




Tomorrow I must tackle my taxes. I've procrastinated enough. When they're done, then my mind will be freed to begin serious work on the project.

Let's see what Rilke has for us tonight from his Book of Hours: Love Poems To God:

Extinguish my eyes, I'll go on seeing you.
Seal my ears, I'll go on hearing you.
And without feet I can make my way to you,
without a mouth I can swear your name.

Break off my arms, I'll take hold of you
with my heart as with a hand.
Stop my heart, and my brain will start to beat.
And if you consume my brain with fire,
I'll feel you burn in every drop of my blood.

Chosen at random, that is one of my favorites.

Rilke, I'm convinced, must have felt God's presence very strongly. He was so in love, so reverent and on such intimate terms with the One.

Another thought: I felt so ungracious toward those women today. I could not believe how I wanted to chastise them and ask them: have you ever tried to run a business? How dare you want people to slave for you for nothing?

For they begrudged paying three bucks to the Red Roaster for a sandwich. They had no concept that the Roaster has to pay for rent, wages, insurance, power, etc. and that all that must be included as a percentage of that sandwich. After ten minutes of their petty bitching, I could stand it no longer. I had to leave or call them on it.

But if I had said anything about this, I would, no doubt, have begun a rant next on all the Chinese workers who slave away making things for us in the Western world for peanuts. Workers don't even get a day off. They work 13 hours a day, 7 days a week. That's 91 hours per week. There are no sick days, no over time, no workers' compensation. They get maybe 40 cents an hour - and some get much less - and can never get ahead. When they get too tired or sick to keep up their speed of production, they're fired.

I think the ignorance and selfishness of most consumers in the West is obscene. We can't go on using other people and trying to get something for nothing forever. It must catch up with us sooner or later. Everyone deserves a living wage. No one should work for starvation wages or have to put up with an ungrateful public that forever wants to pay less and less, with cost as its only concern.

What ever happened to caring about others, of wanting to see them do well, of being willing to pay a fair price for a fair day's work, of being grateful to those who provide us with the wonderful and amazing and beautiful things that fill our lives? For instance, a tasty sandwich and a good cup of coffee can lift the spirit and allow one to do things with energy and good humor. Have it in a cozy coffee shop and it's such a treat.

Well, someone made that bread and what's in the sandwich. Someone grew the food and the coffee. Someone made the table and the chair you sit at. People made it all and yet we take all that work - all that life's energy expended for our pleasure - for granted.

I suppose I should pity those women more than anything. They know the cost of everything, yet the value of nothing. My impression was that they have nothing in their lives to talk about except their outrage over the fact that they had to ask in order to get a pickle with their sandwich.

They are, evidently, unaware that most people don't eat their pickles and, for a restaurant, putting pickles on every plate is a waste. So they were offended that they had to ask! I suppose I should be laughing, it's so absurd. God forbid they should live in Dafur and have someone chase them with a machete. Imagine how offended they would be then!

I wonder if they have even heard of Dafur? They struck me as such empty-headed and bored and - dare I say it? - useless people. This, in turn, has made them unhappy and discontent people. They aren't grateful for their experiences because they don't enjoy them. Perhaps they are all just very lonely and cannot enjoy anything.

Of course the irony of my wasting so much time and energy on them is not lost on me. Perhaps the lesson for me is to face down the fact that I really don't have much compassion for the well-fed, but only for those who suffer deprivation. Yet I read what felt like a reminder from God afterwards to "be kinder to others than you have to" because "everyone is standing in some fire."

So I'm glad I did not lose my temper and speak sharply to those women. Obviously some real fear that I live a petty, worthless life was activated - for we always project upon others the dislikes and fears we have in regard to ourselves. And that is the real issue.